Sunday, 17 April 2011

Points to Mar

Bursts the edge of jagged shards,
piercing attempts to tear apart,
pressing hard
but all it leaves is a numbed thumb mark

Curling, smoothes edges grooved
on either side cocooning shards
that threatening mars to rising
prised from within.

Colour it brown or creamy skin
matters not ~ in silencing spin
to stop the inner screams of pain
and scars,
to clamber out

But colouring orange may warm a trim,
snipping spikes, cutting edged within
and the points that threaten
to pierce through,
are blunted but salvaged
but still stick like glue.
(c) libithina

xxx Norb


  1. Option One from James Rainfords wonderful collection ~ onestoppoetry

  2. Jagged and choppy structure really drives the message, and the echo of rhyme in each stanza ties it smoothly up--for some reason I have an image of someone laying tiles, shards, mosaics of bits and pieces of color and feeling. A most interesting take on the prompt.

  3. Alliteration, active verbs, cadence all render this, as hedgewitch says, "a most interesting take". The sense of being captive, of trying to break free, is palpable.

    Thank you for visiting WWP and commenting on my Shadorma.

  4. Love the sound and progression in the opening stanza. The first two lines are an attention grabber. I second both hedgewitch and Maureen. Effective use of language in many ways.

  5. The ragged structure highlights the sense of frustrated need and jerky, fruitless attempts to escape prison bars! And the threaded use of colour tones seems to symbolise changing perspectives, still wracked with endless pain! Beautiful!

  6. Oh, I love what you got from the picture... such an unusual interpretation of the picture. We can't escape that which sticks like glue...

  7. A spiky verse with a spikey rhythm. Great!

  8. I thought this was like Torchwood where they keep the scifi monsters and this from the alien's point of view. You can contain me but you can't conquer me. It's a cry of a revolutionary too, come to think of it. Well done.

  9. I really like th rhythm and the first stanza...the ripping, fumbling, pressing hard...bkm

  10. color it to stop the inner screams of pain...the being teared apart can be sensed throughout the whole poem..and i second bkm - i also like the rhythm

  11. Well done, very very nice !

  12. lovely words...

    Enjoyed this, awesome talent.

    Invite you to join poets rally week 42 by sharing a free verse today.
    Appreciate your input.

    Hope to see you in!
    Have A Blessed Easter!